Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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