People with herpes should wear stickers.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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