im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
