I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
