I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Randomize