If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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