There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
