i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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