You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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