do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
