First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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