I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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