So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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