I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
