I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Soap is not a condiment
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think people are normalizing furries
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