Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
