super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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