reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
