Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
