if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
