turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
