All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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