What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
