I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
