weddingsv make me drug and hornr
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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