I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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