.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
