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• (510): View more from California

  Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Drunk walkin through police station. America

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????

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