I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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