Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
