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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.

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  25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost

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  27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab

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• (559): View more from California

  I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas

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• (561): View more from Florida

  His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me

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• (818): View more from California

  I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down

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