you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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