Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have feelings that need drinking.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The air taste purple.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
