Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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