that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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