i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I believe in your delicious
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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