Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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