I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
