i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
