when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
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I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize