Please, let me fuck your mom
Someone shit on the floor
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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