great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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