It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
