"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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