yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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