i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
