"it" just moved
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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