dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize