I swear she didn't look like that last week.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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