everyone is single if you try hard enough
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize