Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I fill condoms, not promises.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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