Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
