White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize