too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
