3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
this hospital has no fireball
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
