some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
