The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
