So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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