these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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