Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
